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Friday, May 24, 2013

Undecided



Haha!  Wow! There are so many to choose from.  It is completely obvious to anyone who knows me that I am definitely a sinner.  There are so many things about me that need refining that I am having a hard time deciding which 3 to write about.  Which ironically leads me straight into my first top trait....

1. I am the ABSOLUTE WORST at making decisions.
No seriously.  I am.  I can stand in the same grocery store isle for 10 minutes trying to decide whether to get the 15oz or 32 oz ketchup.  I will make 3 trips to the store to pick out a vacuum and end up not getting one.  I will say I donno/I don't care anytime you ask me what I want to do today.  I'm telling you guys its bad, real bad.  I am often kept from doing things I enjoy because I won't make the decision to go do them.  I have called my parents/husband begging them to make huge life decisions for me.  Not only am I bad at it, I hate being forced to make decisions.  Which definitely makes things worse.  So, basically, if you need something decided. Don't come knocking on my door....

2.  I am so self-conscious.
Ugh.  Isn't every girl?  Gosh it's just the darndest thing.  O how I wish I could feel as beautiful as my husband thinks I am.  How I wish I could love my freckles, or feel in shape, or enjoy my curly hair.  Why is it the curse of all curses on the female race that we have to be so gosh darn self-conscious?!
Oh, don't get me wrong, I'll do everything in the world to come off as self confident, but deep down in side I am a worry wart about my appearance, personality and the like.

3.  I am a grudge holder.
There, I said it.  I admit it.  Ashamedly.  I hate this about myself!  When someone hurts me or "does me wrong" I just can't get over it.  It's the silliest thing too because I know how awful of a sinner I am and that I make offenses to other all the time.  And honestly, I will make amends with those "offenders" by talking through it or making up but deep down I am still holding on to it.  I think of the other person differently or I feel like they owe me or something.  It really is an AWFUL trait that I wish the Lord would rid me of.  I will just keep on praying that He saves me from my sins and refines me to be more like Him....

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