"You think that you're bad, but you're far worse than you have ever though. You think that you're loved, but you are far more loved than you have ever dreamed." -The Gospel in a Nutshell
If you're like me, you are trying to obey. Trying to keep from sin, reading all kinds of "how to's" on being a better christian, doing the better things, loving your neighbor more, ridding yourself of selfishness, having more faith and ways to love the Lord more. And all of these things are pure and good things. BUT, if you are like me most of my pursuit and obedience in these things stems from 2 things.
1. Fear of the Lord's wrath. Fear of being on the Lord's bad side. Fear that He will love me less or I will be His least favorite daughter. Feat that He will have ill feelings towards me. Fear that I won't be good enough.
2. Doing anything and everything I can to contribute to my salvation. To be just a teensy tinsey bit deserving of His grace and my salvation. To be good enough. To earn His love. To pay Him back and not be so reliant. To strive to become good enough on my own where I won't need the grace of Jesus completely anymore and I'll be worthy on my own. By my keeping of the law. By my obedience to His word.
If this isn't you and you can't relate, than I praise Jesus that He has revealed His loving mercy to you and you understand it. But for me, I am still trying to come to grips with it, to wrap my tiny little brain around how BIG God's grace and love for me is. That NOTHING I can do, good or bad will change the way He feels about me. That there is absolutely no condemnation for me because I am covered by Christ Jesus. That God has NO wrath left for me; no wrath left for me on judgement day as well as today. Today when I fail over and over again. Those sins have been covered. Every single one of them. God is not angry with me about any of them. Jesus Christ has paid the penalty for them all. God poured His wrath on His son for my sin and I am at PEACE with Him. NOTHING can separate me from His love. I cannot earn a place on His bad side. He will not love me less or have ill feelings towards me when I fail. Nothing I do will ever add or take away from my salvation.
I needed to hear this. I needed to be reminded of His every day grace. His ever-flowing, never ending, bigger than a mountain, deeper than an ocean, uncomprehensible Grace. I needed to be reminded of how much He loved me. Oh, how He loves me.....