Biggest Fear

   You remember two days ago in my life in 250 words or less post when I mentioned I am a daddys girl and always will be.  Well I was serious.  So serious that the statement makes its way over to today's topic: my biggest fear.  Yep, you guessed it- my biggest fear is losing my daddy.  Now before you get all technical on me and start thinking "why just her dad, what about her husband and mom and brothers, etc?" please know that, YES I am terrified of losing ANYONE I care about, especially my husband, but losing my dad has always been, since I was a very little girl, my biggest fear.  (I am actually tearing up a little bit right now thinking about it.  I usually do.)

   I guess the difference between losing all of the other people I care about and losing my father is that it always seemed like a strong possibility growing up.  My dad's dad died of a heart attack when my dad was in highschool.  And knowing this as a child, I developed anxiety and dread of losing him the same way.  I had nightmares as a little girl and prayed almost everyday that the Lord wouldn't take my daddy away from me.  I still have nightmares and I bawl my eyes out in any movie that someone loses there dad. (Lion King anyone?)

   The funny thing is, my dad is not even sick.  I would go as far as to say he is pretty healthy and has been my whole life.  He was in the military for 20 years, is very active, swims a lot, works on the house, flies airplanes, etc.  The Lord has been so good to him (and me) in keeping him healthy and giving him no signs of a heart attack.  And I believe the Lord will keep him healthy for years to come.

   I didn't say my fear was rational, I'm just sayin its there.  He's just the best daddy in the world and I love him so much!